This Pain Is Like Needles In The Heart
by She Can't Find Me Now
Summary: Korasu's journey into her new life. In Korasu's P.O.V., P.O.V. may change. Korasu is MY OC. I'm REALLY bad at summaries, sorry if it doesn't sound interesting... ABANDONED
1. Desertion

_**I DO NOT OWN NARUTO!  
**_

_**This disclaimer will last for the whole series.  
**_

I'm sick and I'm tired of being treated like this, wait, no, I'm _fucking_ sick of it. For almost 18 years, I've been treated like trash, sometimes even worse. Well, as long as I can remember… I can't remember past two years back…I just can't, but anyways, what the hell did I ever do to them other than setting foot on this world? They hated me for ever existing, and if they weren't so scared of me, they would have disposed of me already.

My name is Korasu, I'm almost 19, yet I've felt more pain than any one, that I know of at least. I don't think I've ever felt I belong somewhere, even in my own family. My sister, Mizu, is completely different from me. She has short black hair and bright green eyes, following after mother. She's the girl that almost every boy is after here in the hidden village of Konoha. But me? No. I have long blue hair normally tied in a high pony tail and piercing black eyes to match. Everywhere I look, people avoid eye contact with me, ignoring me as I walk down the path of solitude. I was a lone wolf evicted from the close knit pack.

From when I was only a baby, to where I stand as a Jounin protecting a village that hates me, I've never been accepted. When I was small, I played by myself or sat somewhere looking at other children in their little groups smiling and laughing. A bittersweet smile playing on my lips, the thought of being able to do that someday, I knew it wouldn't happen though. Now every time Konoha is threatened I am always in the front line, in the most risk of dying. Through these years I have developed an independent personality, I work alone no matter how dangerous the mission is. Only because I want to, when they see me back alive, it frightens them more.

I somewhat enjoy their fear, I feel as though I have control, but I don't. In the tiny moment their face shows fear, I smirk. Always have, always will. When they see it though, I'm hit or threatened. Either way, dying or staying alive, I'm still in pain.

Every day when I fall asleep in the attic of my house, I see myself curled into a helpless ball as the older bullies pushed me roughly against the tree. They applied force to my arm until I heard a sickening snap and myself howling in pain from my dislocated and probably broken arm. Every time I close my eyes I can see their evil grins plastered on their fucking faces. Every time I see them, I automatically feel my stomach cringe. But I feel so insecure and stupid for worrying about something that was gone and over with, that would never happen again. Though the pain was still there and would remain attached to me where ever I go. I have to forget this, I must in order to advance…

So that's how I came to make a decision of leaving the damned village, it's not like they'd miss me. Probably be glad that I suddenly disappeared. Presume that I'm dead, and my family would have a celebration. I am sitting in a forest somewhere north of the village, by myself. It's silent, other than the rustling of leaves in the chilly wind and the occasional twitter of birds. I enjoy silence, no one's yelling or shouting at me for my existence.

You probably think I'm mad for leaving the protection of the village, leaving my family. If you really say someone's mad then say it's the people in the stupid village! They judge me because of my skills; they're jealous and fear me! But maybe when you learn of me you'll be scared of me too, or possibly not. I don't care. I was supposedly dropped off on my 'mothers' doorstep. I'm 'abnormal' and 'cursed'. I'm supposed to be the 'world's downfall' or some shit like that. 'The offspring of evil' is what they used to call me.

"I think I see her!"

_SHIT!_

I dart off and try to escape my pursuers. No such luck.

"Korasu! You will return to Konoha immediately!" One of the ANBU chasing me yelled to me. They must really think I'm a threat, sending 8 ANBU for me.

"Ha! You're joking yourself!" I yelled back at them. _Hmm, lets see… Kill them, or out-run them? Imma say kill!_

I threw a giant Fūma Shuriken at one of the ANBU. Sliced fight through him. Those masks of theirs, said to be able to see perfectly out of them, suck. They have many blind spots- that you would only notice during long battle. Of course, most, if not almost all ANBU kept battle short and swift. I only know because I jacked a mask one time. Hard as hell to breathe.

I pulled the wires that I attached to the shuriken and it sliced through some more people while being pulled back to me. After I simply slaughtered the 8 ninja that were sent to kill me, I slowed my pace a bit. I was nearing the border of the Fire Country after a few days of traveling.

"If I go North I'd end up in Taki, East I would be heading back to Konoha, don't want to do that… South, River country. West, Ame. Fuck… Where am I suppos-" I stopped talking to myself when I heard a twig snap from below me. I was traveling by tree branches. From my extreme case of paranoia I threw a shit load of shuriken at the object that made the sound. I heard metal clinging against metal and my heart sped.

_Oh…Shit…_

"Show yourself!" I heard a man's voice shout. He was pissed…because I attacked him…great. I jumped down from tree branch to tree branch until I saw the person himself. I lost my footing on the last branch and was sent hurling through the air. I didn't even have time to take the fall correctly, so I just used one of my summonings to land my fall.

"Gee, thanks, Koara." I thanked my koala and it disappeared in a puff of smoke. Then I found my way over to the person. I was sure about who he was; I was _damn_ sure he was going to kill me. As soon as I stepped in his eyesight I was tackled and on the ground with a kunai to my throat.

"Why did you attack me?" I whimpered. "_Why_ did you _attack_ me, little girl?" I whimpered again and swallowed.

"I-I didn't know, I-I mean, I thought you were-" I closed my eyes as his glare seemed to be boring it's way into my mind.

"Who are you working with?" I sighed.

"No one."

"That's a lie. Are you a spy?"

"No." I whimpered again. The man looked at my headband.

"You're working with the Hidden Leaf. You're not in any position to lie."

"I-I'm sorry, Akusuna no Sasori." He smirked. My body tensed. My heart was pounding, I thought it would just break through my ribcage.

"My, my. Such a stupid girl. Yet she knows me. Tell me where your comrades are hiding, I just might let you live. Most likely not, though." I squeaked.

"I don't have any." The little memories that I had tried to push away for years started to come back. Civilians throwing stones at me and beating me to bloody pulp. My anxiety came back and paranoia was boosted a notch or two. Not to mention the frickin' scarier-than-life-life-threatening-extremely-terrifying situation I was in. I started to hyperventilate and have a panic attack. I started sweating and trembling, my chest felt like it was being tightened by some invisible force.

Sasori jumped back from me, unaware what was happening, and I sat up trying to calm myself and I eventually fainted.


	2. Making Acquaintances

I woke up on a cold, hard floor. I had ropes tying my ankles and my wrists together. I kept my eyes closed and searched the room for chakra signatures.

_One…Two…Just two._

I shifted a bit. "I see you are awake." I nodded but kept my eyes closed. "Who are you?"

"My name is Korasu."

"Who sent you to assassinate Sasori?"

"No one." The man in front of me chuckled.

"So, you went after Sasori on your own accord?"

"No."

"What happened to your comrades?"

"I don't have any."

"That's what she told me, Leader." Wait. I'm talking to the head of the Akatsuki and still _alive_? Damn.

"Then what happened?" He said smugly, like I was caught.

"I was traveling by the trees, escaping Konoha when I heard a twig snap. My paranoia kicked in and I attacked the object. It turned out to be Akasuna Sasori, it's a misunderstanding." I took a deep breath then opened my eyes. "I give you my shinobi honor." I was a little surprised. Their leader, he was a dark, wispy figure of a man with spiky hair. His eyes, they were gray with a rippling effect to them. I thought I knew what they were, but I wasn't sure. I had read tons of books on about everything while I had free time. I just couldn't figure it out… Then it hit me.

"Ren…ne…gan…" I whispered.

"That's right, child." The dark figure chuckled. "I'm sorry for asking but, why were you an outcast in your village?"

"Oh… Well, the villagers said that I was the 'world's downfall' and that I was 'the offspring of evil'…or so some guy says. Um…I think that his name was…eerr…Jiraiya? Some frog dude or something like that… He said that one of his older students was some dipshit and screwed up with something…I don't understand, why should I be punished for some baka's mistake…? I don't-"

"ENOUGH! Nobody needs to hear your background! We do not speak of things of that matter here."

"Um…I'm sorry…" _I cannot remember much anyways…_

"So…Jiraiya, huh?"

"Yes, Sir." The figure chuckled.

"You have manners I see."

"I do, Sir."

"Do you have any special abilities?"

"Excuse me?"

"Special abilities."

"Um…If you must know… I work with summons a lot, poisons, Um…and…"

"And what?"

"Paper…?"

"Excuse me?"

"Paper, like paper jutsu and shuriken."

"Interesting…" I swallowed audibly. My nerves kicked in and I began to shake. The shadowed man looked over to the dark corner of the room. "You may cut the ropes."

"You don't need to do so." I focused my chakra to the tips of my fingers and cut the ropes. I stood up and tried to clean myself up.

"You could've ran away at any time, why didn't you?" I shrugged.

"It's not Korasu, it's not me. I don't run, I'm a fighter." I ran my fingers through my hair, in an attempt to get some of the knots out. The person that the leader talked to a moment ago stepped out of the shadows.

I looked over to the lady. I gasped in surprise and stepped backwards. I tripped over my own feet and fell onto my butt. "Ow…" I looked up to the lady that was now standing in front of me, holding her hand out. I took her hand and she helped me up.

"Hello there, Korasu." I nodded, confused. "I'm Konan." I stared, thinking. "Is there something wrong?" She asked and I snapped myself out of the trance.

"Oh, uh…No, Ma'am. Wait, maybe, I guess…You just look…familiar… Like I've seen you at a different time and place, I'm sorry. I just was thinking, I guess…" I looked at my feet and began to fidget with the fishnet on my arms.

"It's ok." I looked up to her.

"Good." I blinked and brought my hands up to my eyes and began to rub at them. I hissed in pain through my teeth.

"Are you ok? What's wrong?"

"Oh, I'm fine. My eyes do this a lot, I'm sorry." I shut my eyes tightly then opened them again. Konan bent down and looked into my eyes. I blinked again. "Um, Sir? I was just wondering, what am I still doing here?"

"Korasu, you are to have a battle with one of my members. That will determine if you live or not. You win, you live and join the Akatsuki. You lose, you die." I nodded my head and rubbed at my eyes again.

"I'm sure it's not good if you keep rubbing at them." Konan lowered my hands.

"What am I to do until the battle starts?" The shadow shrugged.

"Explore, meet the members, if you try to escape, die. Do what you like."

"Is there a training ground somewhere around?"

Konan spoke up. "You're going to have a battle soon, I don't think you should tire yourself." I bit my lip, the urge was coming and I knew it.


	3. Innocent? Pfft, yeah right

"Yes, Ma'am." I finally bit my lip hard enough until blood trickled down my chin.

"Oh! Why'd you do that?" Konan asked and I shrugged, sucking at my bleeding lip.

"Which way is the way into the rest of the base?" Konan just looked at me, but the shadowed man pointed to a door. "Thanks!" I said while walking out into the base. I walked down the hallway and listened to a conversation from around the corner.

"Yeah, I heard that the chick was some scrawny, deformed kid, un." I flinched. Did he just call me scrawny and _deformed_?

"I did not say deformed, Brat." Another voice corrected I sighed inwardly from relief.

"Like you're not deformed!" Another male's voice added to the conversation.

"I'm not deformed, un! It's a rare Kekkei Genkai!" The first voice shouted.

"Riiight…" One of the other voices said sarcastically. All of them were male. Everyone of the voices chuckled. I stopped myself from laughing but, to my displeasure, my restrained laughter caused a small snort. I froze. Everything went silent. I felt someone hold a kunai against my throat and a few other people step in front of me. I spotted Sasori.

"Hi~, Sasori~ could you give me a little help?" I said Sasori's name in my special sing-song voice. It's just a little jutsu I created with my voice, along with some others. Sasori snapped into a blank state then looked his normal self.

"Danna? What happened?"

"Let Korasu go." Sasori commanded.

"Excuse me?"

"Deidara, let her go." The man holding me glared down at me.

"Deidara-san~, please~?" The man let go of me. I stopped the jutsu on both of the males. The next thing I knew I was back in the same situation but Sasori with the kunai.

"What did you just do?" He snarled.

"Just a little trick, you don't have any need to know." The redhead chuckled softly.

"Who do you think you're smart-mouthing?" Sasori whispered into my ear. Almost…seductively.

"You~, Sasori…kun~" He stiffened.

"What did you call me?" He said sternly.

"Sasori-_kun_~"

"BRAT!" I giggled slightly.

"I do believe that's what you call Deidara-kun over there." I pointed over to the said blonde. A light blush dusted across his face.

"Smartass!" I giggled again, Sasori's hold loosened. I drifted my hand up his thigh, he let me go fully and jumped away from me.

"You little…BRAT!" I giggled again.

"What'd I do?" I was trying to look as innocent as possible.

Deidara spoke, "What _did_ she do, un?"

"She-she…GAH! Forget it!" Sasori stormed off down the hallway.

"You…just made Sasori-danna…_stutter_ un." I flinched.

_Oh…shit…I made him angry…_

"Nice!" I silver-haired man patted my back. I looked into his magenta eyes and everything moved in slow motion when our eyes locked. It seemed as if It were hours that I was staring into his eyes. He still had his hand on my back from where he patted my back. The serene, relaxing, _weird_ moment ended when my eyes started to sting again. This time it was intense, I collapsed to my knees and began to furiously rub at my eyes. I kept hissing in pain.

I soon heard a voice from a person that I assumed crouched down next to me. "What happened? What's happening to your eyes, Korasu?"

"I-I don't know…"

"Stop rubbing them. It's not going to help." The man beside me put his hand on my back. I complied with stopping rubbing them but I didn't stop shutting them tightly, opening them again then repeating the process. I couldn't see straight, everything was a blur. "Now, tell me, what's happening to your eyes?"

"They sting like no tomorrow. Please, I need to rub them, something, it hurts!" The man grabbed my chin and brought my face to face his.

"Can you see?"

"No, Sir." I shook my head. I closed my eyes again, then opened them. I searched for a bottle of eye drops I had in my ninja pack. I found the little bottle and put three drops in each of my eyes. I sighed in relief. I stood up and started to put the drops away but the man beside me snatched them.

I turned around to glare at him but what I saw was unexpected.

"GAH!" I fell backwards, onto my bum, again. "W-were you there the whole time?" I asked my heart beat speeding.

"Yes, and do you know what these do?"

"I-I'm sorry but, what?" _Him…Uchiha Itachi…Actually __touched__ me without killing me! DAMN!_

"These drops, they're represents."


	4. The Battle Begins

"What? I bought those from a meds shop. The clerk said that they were for stinging eyes… What do you mean 'represents'?"

"They repress a change. I don't know what's happening to you but…you need some help with your issue."

"Pfftt…I'm fine." I tried to snatch the bottle back. Itachi closed his hand and swung his hand away from me. "Hey! I need those!" I tried snatching them from him again. Fail. Then it seemed to kick me in the stomach. "Y'know what? Keep 'em." I walked away, found my way back to the room I was in before, hoping that they were still in there. I approached the door but heard no sound of any kind so, I gave up on that.

I turned back around and found the same males standing in the same places as before.

"Guys! Can you answer me a question?" I asked approaching them. "Where can I…maybe…"

"What, are you hungry or something?" Itachi asked, I shook my head. "Bathroom?" I shook my head again. "Then what is it?"

"I wanna…blow something up…" My words came out like velvet. I smiled mechanically at the group of men before me. Before I could blink I was pulled to the side and was literally being dragged away from the group of people. I looked to my dragger and it turned out to be Deidara.

"Dude! I'm not psycho! Well, many could beg to differ but, I wasn't going to hurt them!"

"I'm taking you to blow something up!" I watched his long blonde hair flow behind him.

"At least you could let me run with you!" He stopped and I stood beside him, ready to start running again. We did.

"Hey, Deidara, You have the prettiest blue eyes." I told him as we stopped at some type of training grounds.

"Uh, thanks? You do know I'm a guy, right?" I nodded my head.

"Of course!" I smiled as I poked his cheek. "Now, to blow things up!" I made my paper come out by a flick of my wrist and they were made into little birds, it was like papier-mâché. The birds flew across the sky and blew up with a beautiful flash of light.

"You, Korasu, are an artist."

"Excuse me?"

"An artist. That right there, it was art, true art." His words went through my mind and actually made sense.

"That actually makes sense! That's…ar-"

"Rubbish!" Sasori stormed up to us.

"Danna! Did we ask you?"

"Brat! Shut up! Leader needs to see Korasu." Sasori turned on his heels and walked away. I ran up to him and walked at his pace.

"Do you know why?" I asked walking backwards in front of him.

"No, and you're going to fall."

"Says who?" Sasori rolled his eyes. He pointed at something behind me. Without looking I jumped backwards to avoid the large rock. "Hehe. See? I didn't fall! I knew that was there!" I turned around and ran off back into the base then found the door that I was in to begin with. I knocked lightly.

"Come in." The wispy male's voice sounded through the hallway. I opened the door and walked in slowly.

"You needed me?"

"Yes, Itachi said he would like to be the one to battle you. Are you ready?"

_Itachi, huh?_

"I assume we will have this battle at the training grounds but, who all will be there?" The shadow chuckled.

"The whole Akatsuki."

I shrugged. "Seems fair." I sighed. "So when are we having this battle?"

"Now, just follow me." I nodded and the dark shadow known as the Akatsuki's leader lead me back to the training grounds. I saw all of the Akatsuki waiting on the sides of the walls of the enclosed training field. Sasori did know, that bastard.

I saw Itachi waiting for me to come to the middle of the field for battle. I took a deep breath. They didn't really expect me to win, did they? I could try his endurance and out-last him or, I could make him run out of chakra before me. Possibilities…

I walked out to face Itachi. My heart sped, this was _Uchiha Itachi_. Most likely, I'm going to die. Nice going, Korasu! Real smart! The next thing I knew, The shadow shouted 'Start!' and I jumped into my defensive position. The first thing he's going to try is a genjutsu. All I have to do is avoid that. Almost impossible… I grabbed senbon and dashed over to the rest of the Akatsuki. I wasn't trying to attack them but, they went into defense mode anyways.

I ran at my medium speed and I tried to jump over them but that failed so I had to used a certain redhead's head as a stepping stone to make it to the wall. I didn't look back and resumed my plan. I put chakra into my feet to make myself stay on the wall. I ran around the wall to pick up speed. I made my way closest to Itachi and threw senbon. He dodged the senbon from his left side but that left his right side open. Unbeknownst to him I had made a shadow clone. The clone quickly gave Itachi two swift kicks to his open side.

He grabbed at his side and turned to my clone. It smiled, flashed a peace sign, and poofed away. I heard Itachi let out a small growl. I flashed behind Itachi, in mid-air, and gave him a kick to the back of his head.

"Mr. Prodigy of The Uchiha! Slow much?" I shouted to him, I love fooling with my opponents. He shot a glare at me but I avoided eye contact. I sensed weapons coming from every direction and had to think quick. I made hand seals as fast as I could and let out a E note on the Concert B scale. My voice repelled the cloud of weapons. I took a deep breath of air to get oxygen back into my lungs. I flipped backwards and landed on the wall on all fours.

_What's he going to do now? He's just standing there! _I noticed he began to make hand seals. I started to make my own. I knew what he was going to do.


	5. Genjutsu

"Katon: Gokakyu no Jutsu!" (Fire Release: Great Fireball Technique.)

"Suiton: Suihach!" (Water Release: Water Wave Palm.) My water attack against his fire attack made the whole area steamy. It was hard to see, _really_ hard. I heard Itachi's voice.

"Water Element, huh? Kisame would like to train with you!" I couldn't see where he was. I started to panic.

_Now's not the time to have a fucking panic attack, Korasu! Clam down!_

I saw Itachi flash in front of me and immediately knew I was screwed. His Sharingan flashed in his eyes. I was put into a genjutsu that seemed to center around my most hated memories. I was screaming like no tomorrow when the steam finally cleared. I tried to calm myself in the genjutsu realm.

"It's…just…a...gen…jutsu!" I forced my hands together to focus my chakra or, to make it specific, stop my flow of chakra. I held the stop as long as I could until I let it out in one huge burst.

"That won't help you." Itachi said as he appeared in the realm of my own hell. I forced my hands to make seals, knowing what my body did in here, my body did outside of the genjutsu. I had to force it but I made the seals needed to counter this genjutsu with one of my own.

I stopped my wailing and screaming and took n a deep, calming breath. "Itachi-san~, Itachi-san~ could you stop this for me?"

"What's your problem?" Itachi shouted.

"Itachi-san~, for me~? Please~?" I used my special sing-song voice for this jutsu. The darkness faded away and I saw Itachi standing motionless, with a bored look on his face. I walked up to him and heard talk from the other members.

"How'd she get out of Itachi-san's genjutsu?"

"Why're you asking me, un? I know just about as much as you do, un."

"Would you two shut up?" That's the last bit I heard from the little group watching us. I jumped over closer to them, further away from Itachi and released the counter-genjutsu. I saw him snap back and look around to find me.

"Hey, Itachi-san! How was _my_ genjutsu? Still have some ringing in your ears?" I heard more mumbles coming from behind me.

"She can use genjutsu, un?"

"Isn't that what she just said, Brat?"

"She countered _Itachi's_ genjutsu… Wow, un." I sent my attention to Itachi who was now running at me with a little trail of blood dots following. He made the signs for another Katon: Gokakyu no Jutsu. The chatter from the members was still continuing.

"Guys! Get out of the way!" I shouted as I jumped away from the giant ball of fire, hoping the others did the same, since I was standing right in front them. I heard the patter of landing feet, signaling nobody got hurt. "Itachi! What was that? They were right in the line of fire! Literally!" I yelled at him. I sorta forgot the effects of this jutsu…he couldn't hear me at all, or anything else for that matter. Itachi fell to his hands and knees. His world was spinning. He began to retch what I guessed was his last meal.

"I cannot, no, will not resume this fight." I announced and ran over to Itachi. I placed my hand on his back to try to comfort him. "Itachi, here's some water." He rinsed out his mouth and stood.

"Thank you." Itachi turned to the small group of people still keeping their distance and watching us. "Leader I cannot continue this battle. I accept defeat."

"Hey, Itachi? Can I stop the bleeding?"

The said raven haired male blinked. "I'm bleeding?" I reached up and swiped three of my fingers across the stream of blood that lead back to his ear. I rubbed his blood on my fingers.

"That's blood." Itachi knelt and I used medical ninjutsu to heal the bleeding. "I healed any damage done to your hearing." Itachi stood and looked at me.

"Thank you, Korasu." We noticed the group of Akatsuki members approaching us.

"Korasu… Welcome to the Akatsuki." My new leader announced. I bowed.

"Thank you, Sir." _Oh my Kami, Oh my Kami, Oh my Kami! YAY!_


	6. Assault On A Woman

_**P.O.V. Switch again, sorry. I should just start every story in third.**_

"So, Fucker, a little advise…"

"Hm?" Korasu hummed, shifting her vision to Hidan.

"Sasori's on the fucking verge of ripping you to shreds, watch out." Korasu nodded, looking at Sasori through the corner of her eye. He stormed over to her.

"YOU!" Sasori shouted. Korasu jabbed a finger towards herself.

"I am Korasu." She winked at the fuming Sasori.

"What was that about?" Sasori asked, calming himself. "Why did you _step _on me?" Korasu gave a half smile.

"Well, I couldn't jump over all of you guys, so I had to do something." Sasori growled.

"Don't do it again!" Korasu clicked her heels together and saluted.

"Yes, Sasori-Baka!" Sasori snapped around, spinning on his left foot and punched Korasu dead square in the stomach. The impact flew her across the training field, tumbling to a stop. She stood shakily and coughed and took a deep breath after having the wind knocked out of her. By now, the other members were watching them, anger and disbelief playing across their faces. _  
_

"Didn't your mother teach you not to hit girls? You know what happens afterwards, right?" Korasu ran towards him, fist raised. She focused chakra into her fist, making it glow gray. She almost came in contact with Sasori but he jumped to the right just in time. Her hand hit nothing but air. She turned around and went after him again but was stopped when somebody grabbed her by her stomach, keeping her from damaging anything else.

"Stop that." Somebody growled. She struggled to get out of his grasp. The other members stood and stared.

"He never does that, un. He never touches anyone." Korasu didn't pay attention to the others talk, she was just focused on giving Sasori what was coming to him.

"Control yourself." He ground out. She kept struggling, kicking, everything to get out of his grasp.

"Even when I almost killed Kisame." Kakuzu added.


End file.
